Beginning

As I begin writing this, the first post of this blog, it's a beautiful spring day today marking the end of what has been an unusually harsh winter here in the DFW area. Sure, it hasn't been nearly as bad as some parts of the country, and I really have no right to complain. But there have been multiple days of icy roads and being stuck indoors trying to find ways to stay productive, stay sane, and otherwise just fill the hours. But now...spring has finally arrived. I have missed those warm breezes, longer days, and open blue skies much more this year than in years past. But along with the usual changes that come with spring, there have also been a series of big changes in my life. Namely, my time at my job of eleven years came to an end. The parting was on good terms but yes...I have now joined the ranks of the unemployed in search of the big "what's next?" There's the usual cocktail of scattered emotions (fears, hopes, dreams, and dreads) that accompany life change of this magnitude and, with God's help, I know I'll get through this.

But this blog isn't about the job I lost.

And it isn't about my search for the next one.

Because another big change in my life that happened this year is that I became a new father to a beautiful baby girl named Reese Elizabeth. She is now seven months old and just beginning to truly experience the world. I can see her starting to drink all of it in and I can't get enough of seeing her experience wonder and discovery. And with my change in employment status, for the time being, her mother and I don't drop Reese off at daycare anymore. Mom goes to work while Reese stays home with me.

I have been given time with my daughter. Time that I wouldn't have under any other circumstances. Time that I'll never have again. Each day as she looks into my eyes again and again and as I look into hers, I will get to know her better. And she will know me as well.

These are my Reese days. And they are finite.

God-willing, I will be gainfully employed again and soon. But in the meantime, I plan to make the most of these days with Reese. There will be frustrations, tears, fussy feedings, and dirty diapers by the dozen. But there will be smiles, laughter, long walks, and sunshine too. Be patient with me, Reese, I'm learning just like you. And through this, I'll get better at being your dad. And I can't wait to see in your eyes that you're beginning to understand just how much I love you.

More days to come.